I Wish I Could Take that Back!

The only way to avoid saying something stupid is to never say anything at all.  Perhaps this isn't entirely true, but I bet no person will read this who hasn't said something they wish they could take back.  I once asked a woman who was not pregnant when she was due...I wish I could take that back.  About a year ago I was presenting a paper that I had written to the class, it was a serious paper about epistemology and the imago dei.  It was somewhat technical and involved.  In the middle of the paper I confused to words and accidentally said a bad cuss word...I wish I could take that back (I just kept going hoping no one would notice, but apparently they did notice).  When you get up in front of people and speak, and you do it for a living as I do, it is bound to happen.  Sometimes, the mistakes you make are more serious in their nature.  

What a person says is important, this is why James, the half brother of Jesus, warned people not to be teachers and, at a minimum, to be careful with the words they say (James 3).  Teaching and speaking is part of what God has called me to do.  I still mess up from time to time, and I am thankful that when I do, people tend to extend grace.  That said, I have developed a few practices that have helped me to limit those mistakes and I thought I would share a couple of those things.

• Don't try to be an expert on everything.

If I am going to venture into an area that I am not familiar with, I let people know.  I am not an expert on a lot of things, neither are you.  It doesn't mean you and I are not smart, it simply means we are human.  

• Ask questions.

If I can, I try to ask questions to make sure I understand a situation or topic before I start proclaiming my opinion.  My favorite question is, "what do you mean by..."  It is amazing how often this simple question will clear things up.  

• Think before you speak.

Many people are "verbal processors,"  the problem is that the processing, in many cases, should take place before you start verbalizing.  If you must process out loud, preface it with a disclaimer like, "I need to process this out loud."  

• If you are going to speak publicly about something, do your best to make sure you know the material.

Study is underrated.  Quite often even a little research will save you a lot of trouble, but make sure you are using primary sources as much as possible.  Given the availability of primary sources online, this really isn't that hard, most of the time.

• Avoid using catch phrases or loaded language.  

A lot of misunderstanding occurs when when people use words that having different meaning to people from various backgrounds.  For instance, if a person who is more liberal politically uses the word "environmentalism" they are thinking about taking care of the world we live in.  If a person more conservative uses the same word it might be in a more derogatory way, not because the don't want to take care of the earth, but because of other concerns.  

• When you mess up, just admit it.

None of the previous tips are full proof.  Check your pride at the door.  You might with you could take it back, but you can't.